…Twitter’s
140-character ceiling does not allow for a great deal of in-depth analysis. But….
it can sometimes provide a great spur to the brevity which, as we have been
told, is the soul of wit (thank you, Polonius, who talked the talk….too much!).
Anyway,
I’ve been active in Twitter for a while now, and in particular I monitor what
people tweet about Jane Austen—and it didn’t take me long to notice that an
endless stream of Tweeters rises every day to the challenge of riffing on the
extremely famous first sentence of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice:
“It
is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good
fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
Note
that I am not talking about the vast legion of Tweeters who simply requote the
original literally. While I’m a hardcore Janeite who loves every word that Jane
Austen ever wrote, how much fun is there in just repeating her most famous line?
What catches my eye and my fancy are those witty parodies which demonstrate
some creative engagement with the notion of a universally acknowledged truth.
Perhaps
the most famous example of such a parody is one that has taken on a life
totally its own, inspiring countless variations in an Alanis Morissette “ironic”
mode, and is Tweeted about half as often as Austen’s original:
“It
is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part
of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces.” Helen Fielding
And I
have a queasy feeling that the following example is about to become a whole lot
more famous (and retweeted) very soon (and if I have to tell you why, perhaps
this post is not for you):
“It
is a truth universally acknowledged
that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
And…
I’ve noticed that a few other versions have achieved various degrees of
virality on Twitter, such as the following:
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that an author in possession of
manuscript must be in want of editor” [due
to an overabundance of writers in Twitterdom]
“It
is a truth universally acknowledged that any being in
possession of a mobile device, must be in want of a wifi. [due to our
collective Internet addiction]”
“It
is a truth universally acknowledged that the second you fart
in an empty grocery store aisle someone will show up to judge you.” [no explanation necessary]
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that a married woman in possession of a good imagination must be in want of a
Mr. Darcy. @KiwiBreeder [due to lots of Janeites out there!]
At
some future point, I will explore less direct variants on Austen’s immortal
epigram, such as those which tweak one of the three keywords, while keeping the
other two, such as my own effort in that subgenre:
“A truth RARELY acknowledged: 20 shades of Austen’s Byronic/Miltonic
hero/villain Mr. Darcy http://tinyurl.com/kmbl9yq
Anyway,
it occurred to me today to create this ongoing post (if you like the idea,
please Bookmark it and visit regularly), where I will collect, and continue to
collect until I get tired of it, the best of those parodies. I will gather them
below under my own very subjective catalog of the ones I’ve enjoyed the most,
broken down into three broad and self evident categories:
LOL! HMMM…
& WTF?
As
for the very rare ones that cross over, and make me laugh, think, AND scratch
my head, they will assume a special place of honor at the top of the pile.
So…if
you’d like to rise to the challenge, and get in on the action, too, or if you
read a really good version somewhere, and want to give it its due, please feel
free to use the Comments section, below, to take your best shot at this sort of
Austen Twitter-Haiku. I promise to check the Comments regularly, and to pluck
the ones I like best and put them in what I hope will be an ever-growing list
(today I just went back one month).
Without
further ado, then, about these little nothings that yet can mean something (You’ve Got Mail, of course), here goes: [last
updated 11/16/15]
WTF?
It is a truth universally acknowledged
that a man in possession of a fortune must be in want of a rollercoaster. @VoxPoppel
'It is a truth universally acknowledged
that a fairy in possession of a good appetite must be in want of pie' @zatyjafry
LOL!
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that it is physically impossible to remain sexy while removing one's leggings.
@Rachtacular
It is a truth universally acknowledged
that opening your email on the wknd guarantees there will be something there to
annoy you. @PsycGrrrl
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that a writer drafting an elaborate food scene, must be in want of a meal.
@LinseyMiller
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that non-academic articles about Jane Austen will begin "It is a truth
universally acknowledged...". @JohnSoanes
It is a truth universally acknowledged
that a newly-cleaned surface will immediately acquire a cat. @sparrk
it is a truth universally acknowledged
that all Subways smell the same.
@WhereMyWierema
It is a truth universally acknowledged
that I hate when ppl don't get my references :-/ @MarniLorenz
It's a truth universally acknowledged
that parents of babies cannot enjoy the time change's extra hour..
@AmyCarolReeves
It is a truth, universally acknowledged,
that whatever you think that Chinese character tattooed on your shoulder says,
it doesn't. @KevinNR
Tis a truth universally acknowledged,
that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Or a bottle of bourbon. @netabuscot
It's a truth universally acknowledged
that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a pre-nup.
@sesbookish
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, will leave the toilet seat up @MarkStevensPD
It is a truth universally acknowledged that within every white wash one black sock shall sneak. @KimeCurran
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a house with a woman living in it will in due course become completely filled with her shoes @ralphharrington
HMMM…
It is a truth universally acknowledged that I never get past the first sentence.
It is a truth universally acknowledged
if you give your characters a happy ending you are not truly a romantic. #Ezolotariov
It is a truth universally acknowledged
that when working out in a long row of empty machines in a gym someone will go
on the one next to me. @anaisnin
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that a student will come to a meeting if you text them instead of emailing
them. @TheSimonFraser
It's a truth universally acknowledged
that when one doesn't know how to respond to a text, you send a noncommittal
emoji @BayAlden
It's a truth universally acknowledged
that a white man walking on foot must be in search of a taxi. @notjjquinn
it is a truth universally acknowledged
that books about comedy are utterly and comprehensively humourless @j___barnes
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that when someone thanks me for accepting a friend request on FB, I immediately
regret adding them. @readandbreathe
A truth universally acknowledged...when you get to your destination Bohemian Rhapsody starts, you don't get out of the car till it's done @dreams_in_blue
A truth universally acknowledged...when you get to your destination Bohemian Rhapsody starts, you don't get out of the car till it's done @dreams_in_blue
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune is no match for a handsome bar of dark chocolate @trishaashley
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a married man in possession of a vast fortune must be in want of a newer, younger wife." @Ravick_BlueLion
@OGormanRyan @lesmisofficial it is a truth universally acknowledged that dogs can bring about world peace @captain_tiny
ADDED 11/16/15:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single tweet in possession of a typo will be retweeted @shanebazzi
ADDED 11/16/15:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single tweet in possession of a typo will be retweeted @shanebazzi
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a universal
healthcare bill must be in want of a public option. @dariustahir
It is a truth universally acknowledged that if
your eyeliner turns out perfect on one eye, you're going to spectacularly fuck
up the other @literaturelly
It is a truth universally acknowledged
that a rational human being can never win an argument on twitter. @applecharlottes
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that a booklover in possession of many unread books, must be in want of more
unread books. @literallyleen
It
is a truth universally acknowledged
that a politician in search of a war is not over-scrupulous with matters of
fact. @DalrympleWill
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of good fortune must be in want of a husband, not his money.
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